Ok i swear this is the last remodel for at least 2 months! I was getting bored with scrolllllllling to read my entries so i used the mojo and whipped up a little adjustment to the site so that all my entries are righty here and the only scrolling you need to do is the big bar. (Okay i really did this for me not for you! I SUCK )

<------TAGBOARD is also moved back to the left so leave me a message damnit! I know you are coming to the site by using my psychic powers so post a tag in the shoutbox before i cry and feel unloved.

So far the votes for "What the hell is Maxwell?" are groundhog: 12 woodchuck: 3 Maybe i should contact the National Wildlife Council and have them send an underpaid worker out to verify and study Maxwell's habits. Hmmm.......

I think someone has put a jinx on my ass, my luck has just been downright rotten lately. I am STILL on dialup because the UPS idiots delivered my modem to the wrong fucking address. Best part about that is the delivery required a signature and when i called to check on the status of the package, its noted as being "Left on the Porch of 730 XXXXXXX Street" Ummmm that is not my freekin address idiots and the person who DOES live there did not see any UPS dudes so here i am scratching my head like WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with you idiots. To top it off, James Earl Jones called me this morning to remind me to setup my new DSL service as soon as possible. Thank you Darth Vader but send my fucking modem out again and maybe i could do that so you don't have to take time out of your busy hollyfuckingwood schedule to call my ass! I pressed 0 like he said and gave them an earful too. Needless to say my modem is being overnighted ala FEDEX (fuck u UPS); I'm not going to hold my breath.....I expect it thursday.

Can you tell how good of a mood i am in today? *wicked laugh* Now onto the next crappy event of my morning: BUSTED WATER HEATER! Yes, that's right i have no hot water!!!! I was playing Cinderella again this morning and set myself up to wash some dished waiting for the water to get hot and waiting and waiting and waiting. My hot water comes up supa fast hmmm....so here i go tiptoeing down to the cellar where i am greeted by the beginnings of Lake fucking Superior and a roaring sound comparable to Niagra Falls. GOOD MORNING TERRI!!!! This was at 7am, when i was still pumping caffiene into my body and i still had eyeboogers mind you. So being the smart brainy chick that i am i shut down the valves then picked up the phone to dial up the landlord. Hooray for not being a homeowner.

My landlord rocks. He was here in less than 15 minutes and promises to have it fixed or replaced by thursday. Until then, i'll be resorting to boiling pots of water to bathe, wash dishes, and for anyother thing i may need some hot water for. Thursday looks like it will be a good day; Hot water and DSL *does a little dance*

Hooray its Monday!

Before i get to mamboing, i'd like to introduce you to Maxwell. I really am not sure what he is, either groundhog or woodchuck; I really suck at distinguishing between some animals so if you can help me figure out what the heck he is please leave a comment!

This is Maxwell:


I first noticed him when we moved into our new house one sunny morning as i was doing dishes in the kitchen. I have a prior entry about him HEREand have been constantly forgetting to take a snapshot of him until just the other morning. Actually, my camera has been dead to the world most of the summer. Anyway, maxwell friggin rocks. Recently i've discovered that he is not alone. A few weeks ago, i was sitting here doing what i do online and i caught movement out of the corner of my eye. Lo and behold sneaking out of the vegetation was Maxwell, but not even a minute after he began to chomp on the grass, another smaller buddy appeared! So now i'm thinking that:

A. Maxwell is really a she and we named her all wrong and the smaller one is the offspring.

B. The smaller is Maxwells wife: Maxette

C. I spend too much of my free time making up names for the creatures who dwell in my yard.

I've yet to find my camera ready when mini-max is out and about or when they are grazing together. Hopefully before hibernation (do these animals hibernate?) i can grab a shot of both of them.

Now that you've met Maxwell, we can get on to the MAMBO!

August 29, 1966 was the day the Beatles played their last concert in Candlestick Park. And since it's the end of August, it's time to wrap up the summer concerts.

So for a warm up let's take the letters C-O-N-C-E-R-T and being as crazy and creative as you can, tell us how you feel about live concerts, what you love and what you hate about them. Tell us how you really feel!!



C - Covered in mud because for some reason every time i see a show it rains like a mutha fucka
O - Outrageously priced beer! Ummm hello you poured about 5 cents worth of beer in the cup i paid 5 dollars for!
N - Non-Reserved Seating is by far my favorite tickets to get. Not that i don't like scoring front row seats but you can have more fun in the field of blankets than stuck in a chair.
C - Chillin in the parking lot! Surefire way to meet some new friends and not need to pay 5 bucks a beer on the inside.
E - Extra bookings. Side stages are awesome spots to scope out the newbies breaking onto the scene.
R - Ripped ticket stubs. I save everyone of them and they are in a jar in my closet. (No stealing)
T - Tits! I've yet to encounter a venue where some chick wasn't flashin her goods left and right.*Is guilty of this on a few occasions*





1. Which 5 bands would you like to see the most in concert?


I need to refer you to my buddy Sadclown's blog entry on making lists of "top 5/10's" It's nearly impossible to do such a thing. I do know one thing though, any live show i get to i will be sure to enjoy!


2. Where's your favorite place to enjoy a live show and why?


I personally prefer smaller venues, such as clubs to see a live show. There is an intimacy you get from these types of concerts that you cannot attain in a large stadium or the likes. One of my favorite shows i caught was at the Cajun House in Scottsdale, AZ. I saw Les Claypool and the Frog Brigade there and danced my ass off, paid less than 5 bucks a beer, and if i wanted to at anytime could've gotten myself directly below the stage for a great upclose view!


3. If you could go back in time and see a concert that you missed, or that you weren't alive for, what show would attend?


I would have to say Woodstock just for the experience in and of itself.


4. How do you rate you city for getting good shows to come through. On a scale of 1 - 10 with 10 being excellent and tell us why you rated it that way.


Rating: 7
Reason: I live in a pretty rural area and most of my life, you needed to get to Philly or NY to see a decent show. In the past 8 years or so, this area has gotten better at seducing great bands to swing through. Locally, a ski resort and the county combined efforts to turn the non-used slopes into a venue; The stage is set against the lodge and seating starts at the base of a slope. General admission seats begin at the top of a small hill so even when you are up there you have a killer view of the stage. Plus if you get so excited by the music, you can grab your guy and sneak off into the woods *wink wink*


5. What band would you most like to see reunite and go on tour?


Kiss *laugh*
Honestly? I would bring Kurt Cobain back from the dead so i can feed my Nirvana addiction. I miss his lyricism, his voice, and they put on a hell of a show!

Until we meet again....

Incubus.
Great song,
its on the radio now.
Makes me think
of many things.

Now i've liked Incubus since i remember hearing them (somewhere around 96/97ish) and still enjoy their musical concotions. However, i will never ever ever pay to see them live again. EVER!
Why?

Lead singer:Brandon Boyd; Arogant, slimy, egotistical ass who likes to do an entire show half-assed and with his back to the crowd if the band is not getting the reaction he likes from the crowd. This happened to me the two times i've seen them. The first was when they were on tour with 311(Yum) the second was (i believe) a tour of their own.

Now if you are a wonderfully talented lyricist such as Mister Boyd, do you use that gift you have to turn people off or turn people on? My thoughts are that if the crowd doesn't seem fired up, YOU MAKE THEM FIRED UP! You definately do NOT face away from them; that is just asking for a beer bottle to the back of the head, not crazed screaming and wild dancing from us concertgoers.

No, no more Incubus concerts for the girlie.

I have a fondness for song associations. People, places, and sometimes things tend to get musically related in my brain. If they are very close to my heart they may end up with multiple associations. This song in particular instantly sparks feeling of need for someone i care deeply about who is soooooooooooo far away from me. But i smile my ass off the moment he pops into my head. I Heart You very much.

Hope you enjoyed my moment of zen now back to spades....

The last two weeks of August have always inspired great feelings within me. When i was much younger, there were more reasons as to why i anticipated this time. Namely the new school year starting, and back to school shopping. These days i can't rationalize going out and buying stacks of cool notebooks, pens, and other such supplies, nor can i justify the reckless spending of my hard earned cash on new school outfits. Aaaah those were the days.I still look forward to this time though because two of the best summer picnics come around like clockwork every year at this time.

First off we have a church picnic where this budding young sexpot traipsed around in a uniform with a crisp white buttondown shirt with a peter pan collar. Yes, i was a catholic school girl, and you wondered how i turned out so naughty *snickers* This picnic is by far the best church event of the year. Plus its the only time i'll really step foot near a church without feeling like i'll spontaneously combust. When i was a kid, my grandparents would often chair the event which meant a cool amount of behind the scenes peeks for me. They offer everything at this picnic from kid games to a beer tent. Speaking of beer, its damn cheap *laughs* usually around .75 a glass woooohooooo they also have blackjack tables and big six wheels but by far the best stand in the joint is the Potato Pancake booth. These badboys are fried in greasy goodness and you can get 6 for 1.50 load em up with sour cream and a side of apple sauce and you're in a heaven that only pops around once a year.

The next event happens every Labor Day weekend and its the Italian Festival. Now i'm a wholesome freckled Irish chick, but i was raised by a Sicilian man who taught me the fine art of pasta and all that goes with it. (I can make a wicked meat sauce) This festival is bangin! They setup around the courthouse in the center city, 5 blocks of scents and smells and utter culinary delights. Some of the stands house makeshift restaurants from surrounding states as well as local kickass bistros. Canolis shipped in fresh everyday of the fest from NYC, sausage and peppers, lasagna, tripe(yick), rigatoni, stuffed shells, double crust white pizza with cheese oozing from the sides, my list can go on and on and on. The whole city smells like little italy during this time and all i can do is drool.

Thankfully i've been a good girl all summer and have shed a few pounds and stuck to a (somewhat) regular excersize routine. So i will not feel as guilty about stuffing my face for the next two weekends where i would normally just ask you to smear it all on my hips please because that is where it will end up in the long run.

Now all i have to worry about is what to wear....something with extra room and an elastic waist. Definately an elastic waist!

I'm trying to get back in the swing of things by doing the wednesday humps, though i severely crave to be humping something (or someone else) So here we go...

Today, August 25th is Healthy Lifestyles Day! But!! (or should I say "butt"! lol) ...we're all crazy here, and so we're opting for the holiday of Thursday, August 26th which is: Toilet Paper Day!!! Yeah, much more our style here at BDInsanity!!

Toilet Paper Day is in observance of the invention of toilet paper in China, in the year 580! Here's the warm-up! Using the word T I S S U E, tell us what "crap" is annoying you today!!


T- Temporary Dialup...yes folks, the internet gods hate me
I - Instant coffee...i need to take my ass to the store
S - Seattle...why does it have to be so damn far away
S - Sex(or lack of)...maybe i should slip him some Viagra
U - UPS...they claim to have delivered my modem *looks around*
E - Everything....i'm not in the best of moods today :(


All set?? Let's move on to hump it up you cwazy loons! A little 'getting to know you' humpin' action!
1. If you were to nominate a celebrity (or their screen character) to the Presidency, who it would it be and why?

Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft: Stunning, dangerous, and won't back down no matter what!

2. If your best talent were an Olympic event, what it would be? Instead of a gold medal, what would first prize be?

Hmmm i shouldn't get naughty with this one, so i'll pick my next best talent:
Cooking! The prize would just be the look of delight on the faces of those who sample my treats :)

3. If you had a warning light on your forehead what would it warn people of if it were flashing?

Dirty Mind Ahead

4. You live in a cage...what are you? Do they ever let you out?

I am an exotic Penguin and they let me out only to do a striptease to "Fever" by Madonna!

5. Scientists have discovered a way to bottle the essence of you. What does it smell like?

Dream(gap), dove soap, nag champa, and sex :)


There you have it folks, hump hump and away!

Hello, my name is Terri and i'm addicted to the internet.

I could be many worse things i suppose. I could be a crackwhore, i could be a serial killer, hell i could torture small animals and children for sheer pleasure. All of these worse fates than my net addiction. I'm a big enough woman to admit my flaws (i love every damn one of them) and i will shout it from every rooftop in the neighborhood...

I AM ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET!!!!!

You may be wondering where this sudden proclamation of my intense longing to be online comes from. The answer dear readers is this: I have been forced back onto a dial-up connection. *gasp*

I know that a good percentage of the world still uses dial-up service and its baffled me for roughly a year now as to why one would subject themselves to this torture. Having been spoiled by a cable connection going on 2 years now, this sudden change of connection is like a shock to the system. I feel as though i am back in 1993 patiently waiting for my homepage to load, eager with anticipation as to where i will surf to today.

I hate my cable company. They've forced me into this torturous situation. They've intentionally lost my payment in order to watch me squirm and writhe in agony as i listen to my modem desperately trying to get online.

How does a cable company lose a payment? Unfortunately for me i used a money order. I am not the greatest at holding onto receipts either, i just assume the world is faultless and all is well. WRONG! So now that i have no record of the money order, i have no way to prove to this media conglomerate that i have infact paid and that i need my IV plugged back in so i can get my fix.

3 dropped connections and counting....
Since i've started writing this entry, my dial-up has dropped me that many times...no wait lets make it 4 now. Grrr...how does anyone get anything accomplished in this manner? Never mind the fact that it will take the better part of a year for me to get this entry uploaded, then load my page in order to view it. Soon you will find me dropped to my knees, tears streaming from my face, cursing the internet gods as my body shakes with need.

I've ordered DSL...

Fuck the cable company! I refuse to pay them twice just so they can find another way to screw me without lube. Verizon has a pretty sweet deal currently and i just received my confirmation in the mail. 5 days and counting until my new service is ready...5 long miserable days of fighting with dialup.

I guess it could be worse, i could have no access and no tv...what a scary scary prospect.

I spent a good portion of my day looking over my shoulder convinced i would see a wicked step-mother and two wretched looking sisters taunting me as i scrubbed, wiped, and vaccumed my way around the house. The catchy little ditty "cinderella cinderella" staining my neuropaths as i went from room to room cleaning like the aforementioned storygirl on speed.

It amazes me how much mess 2 people and 2 cats can make. It amazes me even more that after my "test" week of being the on strike cleaning lady how nothing was tended to by the "other" person who dwells in this space. So much for seeing if i could get out of the dreaded toilet scrub this week.

Yes boys and girls, cinderella lives on and you can see her daily at (insert my address here)

I've been craving the starchy goodness of mashed potatoes lately as well. I can't seem to satiate this constant craving (no i am not pregnant). I'm thinking its due to the fact that i've been controlling the amount of simple carbs i have been consuming (no i am not on shitty Atkins either). Knowing my body as well as i do, this seems to be the likely cause of these intense punches of need for all things tater. Crushed by the weight of these longings i gave in after my fiendish cleaning spree and made a nice big pot of creamy mashed with some gravy to boot.

MY HIPS LOVE ME NOW!

By now you are probably thinking what do cinderella and mashed potatoes have to do with lust? The answer my dear friends is as much a mystery as it is to you. I surely did not look my best after the cleaning rampage. Maybe it was the smell of potatoes and gravy lurking around me. Maybe it was the scent of leftover cleaning products or the april freshness of the downy i used in the laundry. Your guess is as good as mine but no sooner had i placed my empty dish in the sink i was being attacked by the man of the house (the one who did not clean during my strike) Part of me wanted to deny him for more reasons other than his lack of consideration during my strike but i am after all human. One constantly horny human.

Damn men and their power over me!
Damn hormones!
Damn it all!

I seem to have either misplaced it or borrowed someone elses as for the past 3 days my sleeping habits have been totally jacked up. Now i feel as if i am coming down with the flu.

GRUMBLE

It probably doesn't help that i've been consumed by the insatiable need to redesign my site (hope you like the new layout, i'm thrilled with it!) I've also started working on something Dillon has asked me to do quite some time ago and i've got some free time this week to get all of this "extra" stuff done.

My mind has also been preoccupied with thoughts of a certain someone and my intense longing for things that are not possible. Big sloppy kisses to (insert name here)!

These damn storms are starting to piss me off as well, rain rain and lightening for 2 days straight! If this keeps up i'll need de-pruning soon.

Off to sip some latte and get ready, until we meet again....

I fell asleep last night around 9:30pm. I was bored, and slightly ticked off but i don't want to go there. Around 11:30 i woke up to the loudest thunder i've heard in a long time. Probably since i left Arizona where i witnessed some of the most spectacular storms in my lifetime. Anywhoo, i sat straight up in bed and peered out the window watching the lightening in the distance light up the top of West Mountain, it was breathtaking and the scent on the wind was so crisp and clean i almost wept.

Yes folks, hurricane season approaches. Bonnie is ripping up the gulf as we speak dead set on lashing florida with some torrential rains later this week. Hurricanes amaze me and remind me just how small us mighty humans are. I am too far north to really feel major effects of these storms, but occasionally they cause awesome storms in this quiet mountain town. We lost power twice last night, lit candles and just watched it storm for a good 2 hours straight. The cats decided that we were idiots for closing the windows and sat at them mewing intensely which is strange as they usually hide out during storms. The thunder was so loud it shook our small house and i loved every minute of natures little tantrum. Hopefully that is just the first taste of the storm season to come.

Until my fingers itch to write again....